Sunday, April 22, 2012

It takes relationships to be determined

Some days I need someone to listen… and maybe to tell me my rationalizations don’t make sense. Whether you’re trying to stay on a diet, overcome a bad temper, or just exercise more often, you can probably relate.

Find others who can help you stay on track. Many think of these relationships primarily as accountability, but it is perhaps even more important to have camaraderie. You do not need other people because you have challenges; you need other people because you are human.
Find someone who will have the courage to tell you when you are straying off course and who will help you rather than condemn you when you reach out for help. Sometimes professional counselors can fill this role; sometimes friends or family members can help.
Transparency is key. Give these trusted individuals permission to ask you the hard questions, and tell them the truth. Stop lying to yourself and blaming other people. It’s healthier to admit your failures than to cover them up, and if you aren’t honest with those who care about you, they can’t help you.
Be aware of your weaknesses, and get out of compromising situations. Some struggle with alcohol or drugs; some try to cope with disappointment by escaping into a television show; some get in the habit of taking it out on their families. Don’t keep a stash of alcohol or drugs; recognize how your desire to escape can end up costing you time with family; and deal with your anger issues so that you can love family members the way you need to.
When you’re tired or discouraged, it is harder to be strong. So reach out for help, and make sure you get the rest you need.
Get your focus off of yourself. Give an old friend a call. If you find yourself becoming discouraged, find someone to invest in. Volunteer at a community center, work on a family project, or go to a recovery support group. If you used to start partying on Friday night, find something to do or some good friends to spend the evening with. Start building good habits to replace negative ones.
Don’t give up. We have only the present in which to make choices.

Used by permission
article by  Loren Paulsson

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